“The task that hinders the task is the task.”
-Sanford Meisner

What is a trigger?

Triggers are those moments that feel hot, sticky, claustrophobic, and inflamed. In an activated moment, we find ourselves caught in those familiar, ruminative patterns of thinking and reactivity.

We identify triggers as cues of danger that activate sympathetic and dorsal vagal defense. Triggers are often predictable and patterned responses. Triggers are a result of a neural challenge that is too big for the flexibility of the system. They bring a neuroception of danger and an adaptive survival strategy ensues.

The good news is we can change these patterned reactions so that the way we are, relate, and act become aligned with our visions and values - even under pressure. This begins with something incredibly simple: a pause. The simple act of pausing is where clear seeing, thinking, feeling, and choice lives. Where empathy, balance, and response over reaction live. Inside the pause is ultimately where our power and freedom live. The pause frees you from repeating old and outdated patterns that no longer serve your well-being.

Where do we go from here, once we have paused?

I have created a 5-step map, called the N.U.R.S.E. Resiliency Protocol, to guide you along this path of compassionate awareness to re-tune your nervous system and re-write your story. More than understanding and insight, this 5-step map supports us in embodying new ways of being, aligned with a broader vision.

The acronym N.U.R.S.E. stands for:

N. Notice and Name

U. Understanding

R. Resource and Regulate

S. Somatic Explorations

E. Empower, Embody, Expand

Step 1 - Notice and name the autonomic nervous system state and bodily signals of activation and unrest. Are you in a fight, flight, freeze, collapse, or appease response? Maybe you feel muscle tension, changes in your breathing and heart rate, shakiness, dissociation, or posture changes.

Step 2 - Understanding. This is where we bring in the heart part of compassion and understanding. In this moment, offer yourself compassion in the form of slowing down, bringing curiosity to what is activating and triggering you.

Step 3 - Resource and regulate using a somatic resource practice that feels supportive in your body in this moment. Try exploring different practices and combining them to find what works for you and your unique nervous system (ex: slow, deep breaths and ground feet into the earth. Bring one hand to your heart and one to your belly.) I have included a short list of other somatic resources below.

Step 4 - Somatic explorations. Ask, “what is it that wants to be known, felt, and integrated now?" Ask, “How might I take care of myself in a new way?” Explore and see if there is a response or action that feels more aligned with your deeper truth, values, needs, and intention for personal growth.

Step 5 - Embody, Empower, Expand. Meet your experience with curiosity, perspective, and warmth. What new choices, perspectives, and bodily sensations are arising around this triggering event? What action are you choosing to take? What story are you choosing to write and listen to?

Somatic Resources

• Orient, look around your environment and find something soothing, such as a plant or piece of art, or a color you like.

• Ground, sense your feet connected to the earth.

• Breathe, lengthen your exhale, and slow your breath.

• Place hands on your heart or belly, or hug yourself.

• Hum or bring in an intentional sigh of relief. Allow any innate sound to release through you.

• Move rhythmically, rock, sway, bounce, and let any innate movements release through you.

• Anything that brings you back into presence - paying attention to what is happening inside you and outside you in the present moment.

I think one of the most painful parts, for me personally, of being in a high-stress environment or experiencing something that is too much, too fast, too soon (trigger)…is losing choice over my body.

I have now learned that dissociation from one’s body is an adaptive, protective strategy of survival. It serves the purpose of protecting you when in a situation that completely overwhelms your nervous system. Yet, when left unchecked, it can become a strategy that our bodies go to on the regular.

My go-to strategy has always been to dissociate when I sense any amount of threat (big or small). I leave my body, I leave my breath, I leave the present moment, and lose my sense of choice and empowerment.

And so to come back into connection with my body…to come back into reclaiming my choice and power during high-stress environments and triggering scenarios…I FIRST have to NOTICE. Notice when my body goes into this adaptive strategy. Notice the current state of my nervous system and associated sensations in my body and stories in my mind.

It is in this awareness that my choice arises. I like to call it the “Sacred Pause” of choice…choice to find the right practice to regulate my nervous system, choice to see the bigger picture, choice to discern past from present, choice to choose another path, another story.

So, in the end, choice doesn’t equal JUST safety. Choice = Safety AND Empowerment AND Resilience!

Final Thoughts

During moments of activation, relief, in the form of old patterned responses, becomes the priority over curiosity. Integration, healing, and paving new pathways for the nervous system and brain requires being with our sensations, emotions, feelings, thoughts, and what is arising in the body in a curious and new way. 

AND if you react…BEGIN AGAIN…with compassion, forgiveness, and a whole lot of understanding for your HUMANNESS and the humanness of others! This is a lifelong journey, not a race.

"Opening to the possibility that lasting transformation and healing are not so much about changing our experience as retraining ourselves to meet it with new levels of curiosity, perspective, and warmth.”
- Matthew Licata, PhD