Understanding Acute Stress: A Compassionate Response to Crisis

Hi everyone. I’d like to take a moment to share some thoughts about what I’ve learned about adapting to our changing world. Specifically, in the aftermath of disasters like the Los Angeles fires and the turbulence we witness globally, I want to talk about something many of us are navigating—acute and chronic high stress. I believe we have an opportunity to look at trauma differently, to normalize and de-pathologize the human response to high-stress situations and bring in resources that specifically attune to our physiology in times of high stress. 

Acute Stress Response Explained

Over the years of studying Somatic Trauma Therapy, I've learned that trauma isn’t the event itself; it’s how our nervous system responds to it. And our reactions, though often overwhelming, are not signs of dysfunction—they are intelligent, adaptive, and sane responses to an insane environment.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve felt life deeply. My sensitivity to the world often felt like an open wound, absorbing the pain around me. During my years as a nurse in the ICU and heightened during the pandemic, I noticed parts of me becoming hypervigilant to threat. The overall pace in my body and mind became overly speedy. My vision often tunneled. I found myself holding my breath all day. Unable to digest food. I was dissociated from my body and locked inside my own thoughts and inner swirling world. If any of this resonates with you, especially those of you who have been affected by the LA fires in recent weeks, or pick any other global event going on, know you are not alone and your body is not failing you. Quite the opposite. These responses are our body’s ancient, adaptive, intelligent, and I might go as far as to say quite sane reactions to an insane event or environment.

The responses I mentioned above are actually quite predictable ways our body has evolved to respond to high stress and unsafe environments. The problem isn't that our body is wired to respond in this way, for these responses are all in the name of our survival (think fight, flight, freeze)…the problem is that our body was meant to go through SHORT periods of acute stress, respond as described, and then return to safety, nourishing environments, and slow living, filled with supportive community and plenty of time in nature. 

Our nervous systems were not designed for the constant influx of one local and global disaster after another, of never ending breaking news headlines, and access to endless amounts of information/devastation. And so, in this new environment we find ourselves in, the problem is that our nervous system responses are becoming more fixed, rigid and stuck in states of survival. 

This has been a challenging season for all of us, and I believe that our bodies have a story to tell, one that doesn’t rely on words. Yet, we aren’t taught how to listen to this language. Today, I want to help us get familiar with the language of our body and nervous system— to be able to better recognize when our body feels activated or unsafe, and to attune to and support our body in finding ease and connection. When we do this, we stop being held captive by our nervous system—we begin holding it.

Let’s take a step back and look under the hood at what happens in our body, mind, emotions, and relationships when we feel safe versus when we feel threatened. 

Polyvagal Theory Overview

Polyvagal Theory is a new model for how our nervous system and entire body responds to, and changes with how safe or threatening the world feels to us. It was developed by Dr. Stephen Porges and emphasizes the importance of the autonomic nervous system in regulating the body's physiological response to stress and felt safety. Notice I emphasize the word "felt safety or stress"—not how safe or threatening our reality actually is, but how our body experiences it to be. Polyvagal Theory answers the question...what happens to our body, mind, behavior, emotions and relationships when we feel safe, versus threat, versus life threat?  

When the inner working of our nervous system remain a mystery, we can feel out of control and at the mercy of the unpredictable nature of life and our environment. However, once we know how our nervous system works, we can work with it and become active operators of this essential system. It is in this way that I imagine Polyvagal Theory being this North Star - showing us how to best orient to ourselves, others and the world around us. It shows us how to best intervene and relate and really make sense of this whole body - brain connection of ours. It also gifts us with the scientific evidence that some of us need to have permission to step away from the cultural pressures of white knuckling life, pushing through and overproducing, understanding that our health and wellbeing depends on supporting a more natural healing rhythm of our nervous system.

In its essence, Polyvagal Theory can be distilled into this key idea: How safe we feel is crucial to our physical, mental, and relational health and happiness. This understanding forms the foundation of our well-being. How safe we feel is crucial to our physical, mental, and relational health and happiness. When we grasp this, we realize that our nervous system is the bedrock of our overall well-being, and with this awareness, we can begin to approach ourselves with the compassion we deserve and attunement that is most resonant.

So, what actually happens in our bodies and brain when we no longer feel safe? 

Beneath our conscious awareness, our nervous system is always scanning for signs of safety and danger in our environment, inside our bodies, and between one another through a process called neuroception. These signals then travel up and down our vagus nerve, leading to an autonomic state that transforms how our body and brain functions and how we see our world. This autonomic state that ensues is solely dependent on how safe our body FEELS. 

When we feel safe, we engage with the world in a connected, healthy way. When we sense danger, we enter survival modes of protection and defense. We go from a brain and body that is full of connection and choice to one that is very narrow and very simple. We have a very simple menu - fight, flight, freeze, and collapse - and that is by design. Our survival needs to happen fast, and it needs to be simple and effective. 

When neuroception detects threat - the sympathetic nervous system is implemented. In a sympathetic state—fight or flight—we might experience anxiety, like a racing heart or spiraling thoughts, as our body readies to mobilize. If our neuroception determines that fight/flight attempts will fail, our nervous system defaults to shutdown/collapse, what Stephen Porges calls the Dorsal Vagal state—feeling numb, disconnected, or profoundly exhausted, as your body retreats into conservation mode.

It's essential to understand these responses are not conscious choices—they are automatic survival mechanisms. There is no "good" or "bad" nervous system. The problem arises when we become stuck in these defensive states, and our nervous system retunes in such a way that our reactions are incongruent to the present moment experience. When the tiger is gone, does my body return to a felt sense of safety and connection? An example of this….at the height of my burnout, even stepping into the hospital put my body into a state of fight/flight and sometimes freeze. My body had retuned itself and was stuck on, even on slow and easy days. Or another example…the pandemic…prior to the pandemic, large crowds and social encounters were nourishing and fun…after the pandemic, what was once safe and nourishing to my body, became a felt sense of unsafety. 

Tools for Self-Regulation

When we feel our body is stuck in a state of threat and defense, and this response is not the most helpful, needed or wanted response, our first task is to approach our nervous system with compassion. These ancient pathways are doing their best to keep us safe, AND we can help our body find safety to return to our true Self. The body has to FEEL safe and FEEL connected to heal.

With that in mind, I  created a guided audio meditation called Caring for Yourself in Challenging Times. I have been using it to help myself find deeper understanding of my nervous system responses, to further my own self compassion, and to foster attuned nourishment for my body. I share this applied meditation to all of you in hopes that it can give you and your nervous system some much needed resourcing and regulation. But more than simply sharing a tool…I hope to share an invitation to begin a very intimate and personal journey between you and your body. 

Caring for Yourself in Challenging Times - Extended Version

Caring for Yourself in Challenging Times - Short and Spacious Version

Final Thoughts

Advice on Bringing a Dysregulated Nervous System Back into Homeostasis

We know the tools - nature, writing, movement, meditation, breath work, loving and safe relationships…rest, rinse, repeat. These things are necessary and helpful, but sometimes, there is such a profoundly unsettling part of us that we can never quite reach and calm. I know this for myself. I learn to live with it and consider this part of me, the “one living at the edge.” I feel ungrounded and yet totally grounded at the same time. As if two parts of me were operating at once. But I think this is true for all of us. There is a dysregulated part and a regulated part. Sometimes one or the other will dominate. This is life. This is being human. I am ok with this. I love all of me, especially the one who is “living at the edge” and refuses to give up due to fear. Both can be a part of me. 

This is a disarming understanding and a surrendering to our humanness. Once we see the way things are with love, we can learn to be gentle, and that gentleness creates an environment for healing. We no longer disown and hate the dysregulated parts in us, but see it with clarity and hold it in love as best we can. It is a constant practice. This is the process. 

I incorporate many somatic exercises into my weekly (daily) routine. But for instant relief, I stop everything and feel my feet on the earth. I put my right hand on my heart and left hand on my belly. I come back to my breath and the sensations in and around me. I imagine a competent protector holding me - or that bigger version of me - witnessing and welcoming all parts of me. For it's love and attunement that ultimately heals, not practices and modalities. YOU are no longer held by this nervous system...you are the one holding it!

May we see we are human and in process - always. May we love what feels unlovable in us. May we smile as we learn. Thank you for being in process with me.